This morning I sat down with my journal, my pen, my coffee, my book and I took a deep breath, so hopeful that today would be the day that my inspiration would return and my confidence would sky rocket!
It’s been a long few weeks of trying to fight the tides of uncertainty, doubt and lack of inspiration within myself.
I took my first sip of coffee and thought “I’m so ready. Motivation, let’s go!” No more blah days. No more fatigue. No more waiting around for inspiration and confidence to just fall into my lap. I was ready to force my way out of the discomfort that I’ve been experiencing.
I opened up my journal- the place I write my dreams, affirmations, visualizations, gratitude and positive self-talk. What I realized at that moment was that I didn’t have the strength or desire to do any of those things. And then it hit me.
Tara, you need to release.
Release???? No. Anything BUT that. I hadn’t journaled about my feelings in a really really long time. What came next is embarrassing to even admit but I’ll tell you anyway. Like a 2 year old, I sat cross legged on the couch, folded my arms against my chest and defiantly said to my self “nope” while turning my attention to social media.
I didn’t want to visit those feelings- feelings of inadequacy, feelings of failure, feelings of resentment. Nope, nope, and NOPE.
Just then, I was distracted by my bubbly little 6 year old Miss Bella. I could her her little voice going a million miles a minute.
Let me give you a quick back story.
Miss Bella struggles with learning. Things don’t come easy for her. There’ve been a lot of tears over the last few months – especially when virtual learning came about. But in saying that, as difficult as it is for her to learn how to read and as much as she’s been struggling and as defeated and as frustrated as she’s gotten. Even when her eyes fill with tears and she says “I just can’t do it”, she ALWAYS tries again. Even with her struggles to read, SHE LOVES TO READ. She gets excited and KEEPS TRYING. (She’s also been doing amazing- because she’s not given up!)
This precious little six year old inspired me.
If miss Bella could do the hard to do things, so can her mama, I thought.
I turned back to my journal, took another sip of coffee, relaxed my tense shoulders and began to write. It all spilled out onto the pages of my journal.
I took every challenge, every defeat, every doubt and I wrote it down.
On the pages that followed, I wrote 2 simples but gaming changing words:
For every negative thought spoken, an action plan will follow. A plan of attack. Without journaling my thoughts and breaking them down, I wouldn’t have been able to come up with a clear plan of action.
If you’re constantly thinking about all of the bits of your life that are bothering you, please don’t stay there. Don’t give up on yourself- take action and motivation will follow.
Here’s an example to get you started…
|Area of struggle||Action taken||Notes||Goal complete(date)|
1. Lack of motivation.
2. Self doubt
-Not ready to go there
-Can’t workout the way I’d like due to pain
Anyway, you get the idea right?! These are general and vague examples. Be as clear and concise as you can when writing down your challenge AND your action plan. The clearer you are, the better the outcome.
Write it down. And then work at it. No pressure. No deadline. You choose. You control your thoughts. You control your choices.
Cheers to my peeps that don’t have it all together and aren’t ashamed to share it ❤
Love from T 🙂