I love a good problem to solve. I love a new challenge! However, when my mind cannot grasp something, if it’s something that I’ve never done before like working on a new project at work for example, I become anxious. When I become anxious, I lose my power. When I lose my power, I lose my confidence…When confidence is nowhere around, the anxiety increases and it spirals from there. Sound familiar?
If so, let me tell you that you are not alone! And I don’t mean to say that just because I’m here running the course of life with you (which I am btw!) I mean there’s a MAGNITUDE of human beings on this planet other than myself entangled in the same struggle. Don’t be fooled. Even the most successful people struggle with lack of confidence. Not everyone was born with the perfect skillset. Skills are developed over time. Those that are successful today, didn’t start off that way. They built their confidence brick by brick and that’s accomplished over time, not over night.
And btw, it’s completely normal to have confidence in one area and not in another. And there’s nothing wrong with you if you feel like superwoman/man one day and not the next. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s proof that you are human and it’s an opportunity for you to build your confidence muscle.
Remember. Confidence does not equal arrogance. Confidence is believing that you are capable. Believe in YOU. That’s a hard thing for a lot of us to do! If you’re like me, you’re the first one to criticize yourself and come down hard on yourself for not ‘being good enough’ or not doing it ‘well enough’.
When we lack confidence, doubt moves in.
When we live in a constant state of doubt what do we do? We stop trying. We put things off until we feel ready. We sink lower and lower…. and lower. Confidence can’t ever be developed if we allow doubt to run the show.
So what can we do when we’re starving for more confidence but we don’t have the confidence to raise our confidence? (See how ridiculous that sounds but it’s so true! We naturally aim to wait to feel confident before stepping out into confidence! That doesn’t work!)
Well we’ve got two choices really. And the choice is 100% up to us in the end.
1) We can choose to remain in doubt and settle for the life we have- Play it safe and live in our comfort zones. IF we choose this route, we’re better off to come to terms with our choice and not wallow in pity. Remember, the choice is ours. If we choose to remain the same and decide it’s not worth the effort to take the “I’ll do it afraid” leap, then we need to be ok with this. No one can make this choice for us. ** IT’S ON US.
2) We can be intentional and step out despite the doubt running through the circuits in our brains. Our thoughts literally permeate EVERY area of our lives! And if we’re not intentionally reframing how we think, nothing will ever change. NOTHING. IF we choose this route, it’s going to take work and it’s not going to feel comfortable. The reason for this is because when we’re looking to build confidence where confidence is lacking, it means we’re going to have to do something initially without the confidence to back us up. Enter in the ‘do it afraid’ quote. That’s the first step to conquering self-doubt. Do it anyway even if you’re afraid.
So here’s the good news. We do have some control. Although we can’t control the outcome, we CAN control the action we’re going to take. Here’s an example:
You want to change career paths and venture out and try something else that lights you up whenever you think about it, but you lack confidence because the skill(s) you need in order to branch out is a skill(s) you’ve not yet mastered. And that can be scary.
If you think that quitting your job and going back to school full time all in one full swoop is the answer to finding confidence, think again. (Although you could take this leap if you’re really feeling the pull, there are other ways- a little more gentle and way less overwhelming) We can still build confidence and NOT be reckless.
How about doing a little bit of research to start, like watching You tube videos on the topic of interest. Or how about reading up on some articles written by those that have walked the path you’re desiring to take? How about signing up for an online course that you can work on 3 times a week? How about finding someone that you can practice your new skill with. (Practice builds confidence and I’ll probably say it again before this post is over and done with)
You can take small steps forward in place of one big massive leap and still get to where you’re going! Baby steps can still build confidence. Trust the timing.
In summary: Confidence building requires the following but is not limited to:
* Reframing your thoughts Practice affirmations that you BELIEVE to be true for you. One that I LOVE is “I am capable of learning new skills that align with my life purpose”
* Understand that confidence is a skill No one is born with it!
* Take action ACTION, ACTION, ACTION. Do research, get curious, think of it as an adventure.
* Do it afraid and do it often The more you do something, the better you get at it. Mastery doesn’t come from doing something once, twice, three times or even 10…Keep going! (PRACTICE = PROGRESS)
And remember, you don’t need to FEEL confident in order to BE confident.
I hope that this content resonated with you if you’ve made it this far. Thank you so much for joining me over here on Wake up, Rise up, Conquer 🙂
Now let’s go out there and empower others as we empower ourselves.
Love, from T 🙂
Ps….Would love to hear from you! Comment if you feel led and feel free to reach out personally at my email firstname.lastname@example.org